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Trump calling Biden ‘Sleepy Joe’ reminds me of our Hindi Professor in college Dr. Dubey. He was a simple man, wearing half sleeve formal shirts every day, hair combed all the way back, smelling of mustard oil. He had this funny habit of giving an assignment to the class and then dozing off on the desk.

Every time Dr. Dubey came to class and, he used to say in chaste Hindi with a hint of UP accent “Jinho ne bhi pustake na layi ho woh kaksha se bahar nikal Jaye.” That was a cue for everyone to leave. Students who had Hindi subject books also left the classroom. The best part about him is, he never took attendance.

Once, it was a scheduled Accounts lecture, and all of a sudden, Professor Dubey appeared in front of the class. There were 110 students in the lecture hall. whereas usually there would be around 20 students for his Hindi lecture. He started by repeating his favorite line to the class. Around 80 students got up to go out of the class. The boy nearest to the door shouted “Principal Samtani is outside.” Everyone stopped on their heels and returned to their seats.

Professor Dubey was completely dazed. He had never taught a class of 100 plus students. Then one of the students shouted, “Sir, let’s play fish pond.” Looking for a way out, Dr. Dubey agreed.

At the end of each unit test or term, all the Professors gave the answer sheet back to the students with their grades. Dr. Dubey had a strict policy. He will not grade the papers again but can change the total marks if there is a mathematical error on his part.

Suresh, one of the fellow members of the backbenchers club, had failed by a couple of marks. He got 33 marks out of 100. Suresh had a Eureka moment. He asked for a red color pen from one of the girls. In his answer sheet, there were six questions where Dr. Dubey had given him 2 or 3 marks. He changed 2 to 2 ½ marks and 3 to 3 ½. This way he added an extra 3 marks. He then took the answer paper to Professor Dubey. Suresh told him that he had made a calculation error, and his marks should be 36 instead of 33.

Dr. Dubey stared at the paper, his eyes scanning the entire paper. He turned the pages, then looked at Suresh. Then, like an atom bomb going off in the classroom, a noise so loud that the teacher from the next-door class came to see what happened. All the students froze in their seats followed by Pin-drop silence. Professor Dubey had slapped Suresh.

Fuming he told Suresh “You think I am a fool, I am a professor for 30 years. I have never given a half-mark to anyone in my life.” Many of us learned a new fact that day. As for Suresh for the next four years, of college or even today is called “Aadha number.”

Photo Credit: Michal Parzuchowski